How am I living?

Well, that Metta Sutta (posted in the last blog) all sounds really nice and reading it leaves the heart a little softer. How do we live it though? It is amazing always to me how some words just stop me in my tracks. They urge me to re-evaluate my course in life.

How am I living?

Do I use words that can cause peace not harm?

Am I conscientious in my dealings with others?

Am I mindful of the environment?

Even this slight pause in the rush of life allows a little space for self-questioning and deep reflection. It can help us see clearly the way we want to live. More importantly it sets the intention to actively live mindfully. For me it is the commitment to have a mindful meditation practice at in my daily life and to practice wholeheartedly the words of wisdom.

Not sure about you, but I have a sneaky, leaky mind. Practicing Metta has a subtle way of digging up any overlooked seeds of anger, fear, jealously and the like that are thriving away in the store house consciousness. Eventually, we see more and more of ourselves. Some aspects we'd rather not see and some we'd rather like to be seen. But the fact is when the truths of being me (revealed in those blessed “aha” moments, mostly in difficult relationships) arise, they bring with them the opportunity to take care of myself, to be responsible for my own wellbeing. To take a closer look at how I take hold of “my views, my pride, my self-righteousness” and see how I've been not just holding those same old stories, I've been re-enforcing them in a life long habitual way. Addicted to “my stuff”, holding on for dear life. But then I come to a tender understanding of why these unwanted seeds were planted in my mind in the first place. I can deeply look into my conditioning, without pushing away, without shame or blame, and see there is nothing I can do to change my conditioning but I do have a choice in this moment to either keep up my addictions or not. Instead of watering the seeds of affliction and illusion, I can now at last just see them for what the are: old ways of coping, old stories, old fears, old clouds. There is a chance at this point for me to keep letting each one go, gently, with respect for myself and others. There is no need to be harsh with ourselves. Don't we see enough harshness around us, why contribute on an inner level? Eventually, they like any other addictions, once acknowledged and transformed, they do not become my identity.

Scars tell us where we've been not where we're going.

Smiles,

M.